Must Do Activity to Keep Your Child Safe

As the summer comes to an end and a new school year starts, I will dedicate this post to the safety of our children. We all love our children and want to keep them safe. Of course we cannot be with them all of the time so we must give them some tools and education about safety. It is estimated that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the time they are 18. This is a frightening statistic. What is even more frightening is that the perpetrator is typically someone the child and family know. What can parents do about this? Here are some of the things I learned as a counselor for sexually abused children.

Use Proper Names

Open communication from the start is so important. You are probably saying to yourself “WHAT?!” “What does she mean from the start?” Keep it simple. Be open with your children about their bodies. Use appropriate names for their private parts. Children should know that they have a penis or a vagina. Using the correct names for body parts demonstrates that private parts are nothing to be ashamed of, but are simply another part of the body. I pray that nothing ever happens to your child, but if it does, it is much easier to get the facts of the abuse straight if accurate names for body parts are used. Remember, typically it is not the child who is embarrassed by saying these names, but the parent. You do not have to spend a great deal of time on this. Just use proper names and let your child know that private parts are special and not for others to see.

Explain Who Should Touch

Tell your child that it is never okay for anyone but mommy, daddy, or a doctor to look at their private parts. Explain that they should tell mommy or daddy if someone tries to touch their private parts. You can also explain that mommy and daddy should only touch the child’s privates if they are helping clean or for a medical reason. A helpful book on this subject is, “A Very Touching Book…for Little People and for Big People” by Jan Hindman. I do suggest you read it first as it does use anatomically correct words and pictures in cartoon form.

Hands-on- Activity

Here is a simple activity to complete with your child to help further educate them on personal safety. Make this a fun activity with colored paper, markers, chalk, or whatever craft supplies you have available.

1. Trace both of your child’s hands. Label one hand good/safe touch and the other bad/unsafe touch.

2. Ask your child how he/she likes to be touched; hugs, high fives, shaking hands, etc. Label the good/safe touch hand with pictures or words of these kinds of touches.

3. Next ask your child how he/she does not like to be touched; hitting, biting, pinching. If your child does not mention private part touching, this is when you can bring it up. Explain to your child that private parts are special and not for anyone else to see.

4. Teach your child what to do if someone ever touches them in a way they do not like. They should tell mommy, daddy, or a safe grown up, such as their teacher.

Practice

After completing each hand, you can explain to your child that any touch can become unsafe if someone says “stop” and the person doing the touching does not stop. Tell your child that they are in charge of their body and have the right to say “stop touching me.” You can practice this with your child by tickling them and having them tell you to stop. It is important for your child to be aware that when it comes to their body it is okay to tell a grown up “no.” Be mindful when you are playing with your child and always stop if they ask you to. This is a perfect opportunity to instill appropriate personal boundaries.

You Can Do it!

I know the subject of private parts can be a tricky one for parents. Just breathe, and talk about it like everything else. Keep the conversations short and the information simple enough for your child to understand. The safety of our children is worth a little embarrassment.

#safety