5 Steps to Raising Self-Assured Children

We live in a world where our children are bombarded with messages telling them how they should think, feel, and act. These messages aren't always the way we want are children to think, feel, or act. As a therapist for children many years ago, I remember parents being so concerned with how to teach their children self-confidence. As a parent, I now understand why this is so crucial and confusing. We are often at a loss on how to teach children to think for themselves and stand up to peer pressure. Yet, this is one of our most important job. Daunting and exhilarating all at once. Children who feel confident in themselves have better tools to resist temptation and positive self feelings. Feelings of self-confidence and esteem start at home. These 5 steps are simple ways to start the development of self-assured children.

1. Encourage children to do things for themselves, even if you can do it quicker. This was pretty easy to do when I only had one child. Now that I am a mom of three and time is limited, I really have to restrain myself from helping with those crafts and chores. However, it is crucial to a child's self-esteem that they learn to trust themselves. This is best achieved by accomplishing daily tasks independently.

2. Let kids make mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn to do things correctly. I actually learned this from my oldest son's preschool teacher, Ms. Livia. I was correcting Big G because his shoes were on the wrong feet. Ms. Livia turned to me and said "Don't worry about it." He has to learn how it feels to have them on wrong so he knows how it feels to have them on right." WOW! This made total sense to me. Let's let our little ones learn that mistakes aren't the end of the world, rather they are a path to learning. Obviously, we have to step in if our child is in danger.

3. Let children see you make mistakes and fix them - I think this one is just as important for our children as it is for ourselves. We don't have to be perfect. In fact we are teaching are children such valuable lessons when we do mess up but then make it right. Children should learn that it isn't the end of the world or mean that they are worth any less just because they aren't perfect. So it's our job to show them that by loving ourselves!

4. Show your children you love them – Hug, tickle, read, get down on the floor and play. This simple moments allow your child to feel cherished and worthy of their own love as well as others. This is also an important way for them to learn how to care for others.

5. Really listen to your child – When a child feels heard, they feel that what they think matters. Plus, children see the world in a totally different way than adults. You just might learn to look at life differently too!

I hope these little tidbits are helpful. Do you have any to add? What are your best tips for raising confident kiddos?